Welcome to #ShareAdvent

The last time I posted here, it was another season - and what feels like an age ago! We were two months into our marriage,we were in the throes of selling, packing and moving out of our old house. I had been looking for a job for what felt like an eternity.

Now it is nearly Christmas, our first as husband and wife. I have been working for six months, we have moved house and are preparing to do so again via a failed house purchase (their fault) and a sudden decision to try looking at new locations (yes, we're saying goodbye to London). It's been a tough few months, to be honest, but also the happiest and most exciting start to married life that we could hope for. We even got to go to New Zealand. It was the best.

During this last year, I have discovered the beauty of other (much more established and knowledgeable but all very lovely) bloggers and the joy of twitter. Sometimes it has made all the difference to have a network of other women, many of whom I've met, but many more that I haven't (yet - here's to 2014...) but who are in the same situation or who have been there and got out the other side. Ladies, you are an amazing community.

Last year, Anna - the fabulously creatively talented owner of Skin and Blister organised #ShareAdvent, an amazing way for people to share their preparations for Christmas, based on a list of daily themes. I watched from the sidelines, but it was beautiful to see.

This year, I want to join in. I can't promise that I'm going to join in with all the themes, but I'm going to give some of them a go:



Today's theme is "Joy to the World".

My take on this is, I'm afraid, based on cake (I promise they won't all be. Well, I promise to try, anyway).

Alan's birthday is the 28th November, and we always say that Christmas can begin after his birthday ends. Since this year his birthday was a Thursday, I chose this weekend to make his birthday cake. Now, it may be a little tenuous and slightly un-Christmassy, but birthday joy is always helped by cake. And I favour homemade cake.

Happy Birthday to my amazing husband. May the coming advent, and the year ahead, be full of joy.

Our Wedding: The Music

There was music playing throughout our wedding day. When deciding what to have we wanted to strike the right balance between tracks that meant a lot to us, and ones that would suit the general mood on the day.

We had opted to have music playing over the wedding breakfast, and saw this as a good opportunity to play some personal songs in the background - we like a lot of country rock and acoustic music, which wouldn't necessarily have been suitable for a dance party. We decided to give our DJ (Tim Franklin, Franklin Entertainment) more free reign when it came to the evening disco as we thought he would have more experience in keeping a party going.

Apart from the first and last dances our DJ was asked to play a mixture of songs, using his own experience but also taking requests where possible. He did an excellent job of judging the mood of the room, and managed to keep the dance floor packed from start to finish! He was so good that many of our guests thought that we had picked the songs specially ourselves.

We don't have a record of every song that was played, but in case you're interested these are the ones that we had specifically requested.

The First Dance
I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack

The Last Dance
Sober - Little Big Town

(I had never heard of the concept of a last dance before. We told the DJ that if it didn't suit the mood at the time that he didn't have to play it, but he managed to work it in very well. The tracks leading up to it had started to bring everyone towards the dance floor, and the penultimate song "New York, New York" had everyone dancing with arms linked in a circle. Somehow we ended up in the middle of the room during that song, which meant that we were the centre of attention as the last song started. It's a love song, and it was lovely to end the night dancing together with couples dancing all around us. It was the perfect end to a perfect night of music.)

Wedding Breakfast Background

Paper Airplane - Alison Krauss
Lie Awake - Alison Krauss
A Simple Love - Alison Krauss
The Lucky One - Alison Krauss
Looking in the Eyes of Love - Alison Krauss
Dimming of the Day - Alison Krauss
It Doesn't Matter - Alison Krauss
Lord Don't Forsake Me - Alison Krauss
Sleep On - Alison Krauss
I Will - Alison Krauss
It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference - Alison Krauss
When You Say Nothing At All - Alison Krauss
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
American Honey - Lady Antebellum
Just A Kiss - Lady Antebellum
I Got You - Jodie Marie
Ventura Highway - America
Coat of Many Colours - Dolly Parton
From Here to the Moon and Back - Dolly Parton
Roots - Show of Hands
Would You Go With Me - Josh Turner
Only You - Joshua Radin
Closer - Joshua Radin
I'd Rather Be With You - Joshua Radin
How to Save a Life - The Fray
London - Sandy Denny
Easy Silence - Dixie Chicks
Tornado - Little Big Town
Your Side of the Bed - Little Big Town
Can't Go Back - Little Big Town
Stay - Little Big Town
Self Made - Little Big Town
Boulder to Birmingham - Emmylou Harris
Deeper Well - Emmylou Harris
All My Tears (Be Washed Away) - Emmylou Harris
Wild at Heart - Gloriana
When the Morning Comes - Jon Allen
I'm Gonna Love You Through It - Martina McBride
Dancing Every Night - Paper Aeroplanes
Newport Beach - Paper Aeroplanes
Sing It - Paper Aeroplanes
Hey There Delilah - Plain White Ts
1,2,3,4 - Plain White Ts
Rhythm of Love - Plain White Ts
Write You a Song - Plain White Ts
The Scent of Love - Michael Nyman
The Heart Asks Pleasure First - Michael Nyman
Postcard from Paris - The Band Perry
Walk Me Down the Middle - The Band Perry
Perfect Day - Miriam Stockley
Adiemus - Miriam Stockley

We hope that you enjoyed the music on the day, and thank you all for dancing all night long!

Alan

Our Wedding - Part 4 (From the Bride and Groom)

Time to cut the cake. The DJ introduces us for the second time and we head to the cake table, now positioned in the centre of the room.

We cut the cake to a chorus of camera flashes, standing there for an eternity to make sure everyone gets the shots they want. We don't really know how long we're supposed to pose for. I nibble some of the cake from the knife - yum. We stand there for a bit longer until the flashes seem to have died down fully, and then the cake is whipped away to be sliced up for later.

Just the first dance to go, and then it's party time. Our choice is Leann Womack, 'I Hope You Dance'. I hadn't really been looking forward to this before today but I've had such a fantastic day and am so relaxed that dancing to one of our favourite songs is just the icing on the cake. The music starts and it's just Alan and me, just twirling gently round the dancefloor in our own little world, singing along to the lyrics. About halfway through, I nod to the DJ and he invites everyone else to join in, which they do.

 After a moment's pause at the end, the DJ launches into Scissor Sisters' 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' (I've no idea if that was a careful choice based on our dance or whether it's just a good first tune for parties; either way, a great choice!) - the dance floor stays packed and the evening starts.

Around 10.30, the side room is open and the spread of evening food is revealed. We've gone for sausage, bacon and egg rolls, and fish and chips - there is also cheese (with crackers and chutney) and cake to sample. "It's breakfast!" one guest says to me delightedly. The dancefloor is abandoned and a huge queue forms. We hadn't thought people would be that hungry at that time so we're glad we listened to the venue on catering numbers, as boy, would we have been in trouble otherwise. My brother is slightly aggrieved that he misses out on the bacon - even though I point out that he already has one of everything else!

I grab a slice of cake as I can't summon up the appetite for anything more substantial. I'm a little sad about this as everyone keeps telling me how tasty the buffet is, but the cake is definitely very good.

Once the buffet has been torn apart, it's time to get back on the dance floor for the last hour or so. A combination of great requests from our guests and excellent work from the DJ keep the dancing going, with some cheesy country music favourites. At one point Alan and I are twirling round the room (it turns out my dress is perfect for twirling - I never thought to test it out for such qualities in the shop!); I become aware that everyone else has stopped and is clapping as we dance in the middle. It's like magic happens and we know the evening has been as much of a success as the rest of the day has been. It's an amazing moment.

 Eventually, the party begins to wind down a little as we begin to say goodbye to some of our guests who have to leave. The dancefloor is full for 'New York, New York'. Somehow Alan and I end up in the centre of the circle, which is perfect for the last song.

We picked a 'last song' but didn't know whether the DJ was going to play it. We knew it wouldn't be that well-known and we trusted him to know whether he thought it would work or not as we don't want the dancefloor to clear for the last song!

To our delight, the DJ announces the song we chose - 'Sober' by Little Big Town. To us, this song is the perfect, hazy, lazy tune for the end of a perfect day. Far from deserting us, the dancefloor is full with plenty of other couples and groups around us; as I glance around I am overwhelmed with the love radiating from everywhere. Alan and I sway together in each other's arms - I'm not sure I can call it dancing as we're so busy singing and smiling at each other - until the music finally fades away.

The lights go up and the music is over. I am still wearing my shoes where others have long-ago abandoned theirs, but even my feet are starting to ache now.  Many guests head to the bar to continue the party. In some ways I am reluctant to bid everyone good night, but we are both shattered so we leave everyone to it and head* upstairs. With hindsight, I wish we had stayed up with our guests a bit longer, but realistically I probably would have been falling asleep in a corner before too long.

Upstairs, the pixies have been visiting, and magically some cake, a bottle of champagne and a basket full of cards and gifts from our incredibly generous guests have appeared. Different, bridesmaid-shaped, pixies have visited and spread confetti, petals and balloons over the bed. A wonderful, magical, scene and it feels like a tiny, one-room world which is ours only.

Still reluctant to say the night is over, we potter round the room, bathing in 'newlywedness' and, less romantically, trying to get the feeling back into our numb feet (Toes? What toes?). Eventually, we can't avoid the need to admit defeat and get some sleep, as we have a long drive tomorrow. Our wedding day might be over, but our marriage is only just beginning.

*By 'head', I mean 'hobble' - my feet are suddenly no longer really working.

PHOTOS BY ROSS HOLKHAM PHOTOGRAPHY/ ALAN'S PARENTS

Wedding Day - Part 2 (from the Groom)

"Right, so, where are we going?"

This is what Colin, who is driving me to the church, asks as we pull out of the car
park.

"I thought you knew?!"

OK, so not quite planned to perfection then.

I've driven to the church a number of times, but not from here. I quickly debate setting up the sat nav, but would rather not have us stop now that we have momentum.

There are four of us in the car, all dressed up in our finest tail-coats and sporting flowers in our lapels. We don't get as many looks as I imagine the main wedding car will have, but I revel in the double-takes we get as we crawl slowly through Ware town centre.

The church is only a 10 minute drive away, so we are there in a flash.

Guess this is the right place then!
(Photo courtesy of Maxine von Eye)

We're just over an hour from the ceremony time, but people start arriving right away. A worry of mine was how easy it would be for people to park, and there are more cars already parked in front of the church than I had expected, but the ushers do their job of shepherding people to the overflow and everything seems to work out.

Inside the church I say hi to the vicar, and run through some last minute details with the rabbi who had been unable to make it to the rehearsal. There are also a number of the regular church congregation there who all wish me luck.

Outside everyone is enjoying a brief moment of sunshine. There is a pub directly opposite the church, and I am pleased to see that most people are taking advantage. My parents arrive and offer moral support, but I'm quite calm.

Much mingling was done.

Groom and Mother
(Photo courtesy of Maxine von Eye)

Family Godfrey

It gets to 1 o'clock quickly and when a critical mass of people seem to have arrived, I make my
way inside and head to the front.

I remember turning around at some point and seeing that Frances's car has arrived. It's 1:20pm - 10 minutes early! Excellent.

It takes them a while to get to the entrance, but when they do all I can see is Frances, sun-lit and radiant in white, beaming at all around her. She sees me and gives me a wave full of excitement and joy.

The vicar takes the opportunity to read out some notices, and to give everyone an idea of what is going to happen next, and the rabbi gives a brief introduction as to why he is there and what he'll be doing. I can't recall exactly, but one of them makes a comment in reference to me, and I pull a face and shake my head. This gets a small laugh from the room and instantly I relax.

Groom and Best Man - looking relaxed!

Until this moment I'd been tense and staring at the floor, unable to make eye-contact with the room full of family and friends; but now I'm more comfortable and I can lift my head and take it all in.

The vicar and rabbi go to speak with Frances, and before I know it they are racing up the aisle towards me. I knew Frances wasn't planning on going for a slow procession, but with it being a small church and everyone slightly nervous they end up moving at quite a pace.

I watch Frances from the first moment to the last and she doesn't take her eyes off of me either; until we are stood side by side grinning like idiots and the service begins.

The Bride!
(Photo courtesy of Maxine von Eye)

The hard-working gang who made sure everything
made it back to us after the ceremony. Thanks all!!
(Photo courtesy of Maxine von Eye)

My Second Favourite Wedding Photo

Today, Alan and I are on Any Other Woman as I sent in one of our beautiful photos for the lovely Any Other Photo feature, so why not hop over there now and take a look? It's a photo that really does mean a lot to me.

It was so difficult to choose my photo, I ended up sending in two, which is really strictly against the rules. I thought I would post the second one here so you can why it was so hard to choose between so many special moments in our wedding day.

This photo was taken right after our vicar had declared that Alan and I were officially husband and wife; right after we’d had our first kiss(es). Who knew where the day would go after this moment? Right then, we didn’t need to know. This is that moment when we were so incredibly happy, so caught in the moment that all we could do was hold onto each other, be as close as possible, and grin like idiots at each other at the fact that we’d done it, we’d got married and it already felt amazing.

Although there’s several photos showing moments I will always cherish, what I love about this photo is not just how happy and wrapped up in our new marriage we both are. It’s also about the huge beam across my mother’s face, and how proud the vicar and the rabbi both look, as if they are all stakeholders in this moment of joy, which I suppose, in many ways, they are. Although my father isn’t in this photo, he is standing just to the left of my mother and I know from other photos that he was grinning as well. It makes me realise that our marriage isn’t just about us. Everyone else really does care too.

 

PHOTO BY ROSS HOLKHAM PHOTOGRAPHY

Friday Cake - Flowers

While we're still getting our head around the saga that is moving house, still plugging away at the job search and settling into married life, here's some cake from a couple of weeks ago.

I saw this idea in BBC Good Food magazine and was eager to give it a go as we have so many terracotta pots left over from our wedding. I used a different receipe to the suggested orange and almond as I just wanted a quick Friday afternoon bake, so opted for the basic vanilla cupcake recipe from a wonderful book called 500 Cupcakes and Muffins, by Fergal Connolly. This really is my go-to book for quick and tasty cupcakes and muffins - the miniature pineapple upside down cupcakes and the sundried tomato and basil muffins are both on the 'house favourites' list.
 
Points to Note:

• The oasis could probably do with being (a) larger and (b) a more regular shape. I was using leftovers from our wedding centrepieces.
• Make the lighter shade first - you can always make this darker for the remaining cakes. I made the pink, then decided I wanted a peachy colour. Didn't work, and my attempts to make purple ended in a lovely, erm, sludge colour, so I had to make a new batch for the peach-coloured cakes.
• Vanilla flavoured cake works well with the sweetness of the icing.

Terracotta pot, with oasis covered in green paper (instructions use tissue paper; I had mulberry paper so used that)

 

Make the lighter shade of icing first!

 

Green leaves made from roll-out fondant icing - sugarpaste might be better but I wanted to use up leftovers!

 

Use wooden skewers cut in half to fix the cakes to the oasis.

Eat them? Oh, if you insist...

Wedding Day - Part 3 (from the Bride)

Driving off from the church, we wave to everybody, including the punters in the pub across the road. The bridesmaids are happily chatting away as Alan and I enjoy the moment. Halfway back to Fanhams Hall, we pull over to let the photographer shoot past us so he can get back before us.

There is champagne to greet us when we arrive, and some photos before we say goodbye to the car and the lovely driver - I have rarely met anyone better suited to their job, he was so calm and professional.

We locate the drinks reception and direct guests in the right direction. A short amount of time in which to catch up with guests and sample canapes before rounding up bridesmaids, ushers and family members for photos. We go off to have some couple shots round the grounds, and then just as it looks like rain, we head back to the shelter of the building for the wedding breakfast. Alan has fun trying to do up the fastenings on the back of my dress's train, as do a number of other people. It seems a lot more complicated than it looked in the shop...

There is momentary confusion when someone points out that a substantial number of our guests aren't yet seated. We are missing Alan's parents. Eventually we realise that noone has called in any guests from the library - they are retrieved by an usher and the problem is solved.

It is only now, when we are about to go in and give our speech, that I remember that I never had any lunch. It is now nearly 5pm. I am almost dizzy with hunger - but am quickly distracted by all the excitement going on around me.

Everyone gets to their feet as we enter, welcoming us as the Bride and Groom. It's a little overwhelming knowing that everyone is clapping and smiling because of us.

We're doing the speeches first, so Alan and I launch straight into our joint offering. It won't set the world alight, but we thank all the right people and it's a lovely feeling standing up next to my new husband and addressing our guests together - I highly recommend doing this.

Colin, Alan's brother and best man, gives a much better speech - nothing too embarrassing luckily - and then it's time for food. I feel full just looking at my main course but I'm damned if I'm not going to eat it as it's so delicious. Ditto dessert.

Between courses we have plenty of time to circulate the tables and say hello to everyone. We decided not to have a traditional top table, mainly because the numbers didn't really work. On our table we have our brothers and their partners, and my MOH and her partner. Our parents have their own tables with respective family members, with our parents being seated as close to us as possible. This seems to work as everyone can relax with people they know well already, and everyone seems happy.

It rains during the meal, proper summery downpours. We don't care. I don't think most people even really noticed. It's the only time it really rains all day. While I'm relieved, part of me is actually a little disappointed we didn't get to use the pretty blue heart-shaped umbrella we have.

Dessert is over and everyone trickles out of the room so it can be turned round for the evening party. The sun comes out, so we scoot outside to have some more photographs. Alan and I then sneak upstairs for a little while - simply to have some space to reflect on everything that's gone before. The day has run pretty much like clockwork, everyone has been fed and watered and we can relax - time for cake and party!

Groom, Best Man and Usher socks!

If they can have sock shots...

ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF ROSS HOLKHAM PHOTOGRAPY